May/June - Dingleberry Update & Opinions:

When reading what follows, please bear in mind that:

Town Councilman James Griffin reportedly joined Councilman Jerry 'The Hitman' Williams in the wet dream and public claim (made by Jerry Williams in front of multiple witnesses) involving my 'need to be killed' for being an outspoken political opponent, after the most recent election. This comment by Jerry and one that 'sources close to him' say James Griffin thought was cool and appropriate, was the result of my outing James Griffin over his various accused wife beating events and related arrests, all of which can be viewed via the Local Crapheads topic link on our Home Page. Yet this obvious Retard rushes right over to us, as if I have forgotten all of the above. Damn, you can't fix stupid, not even with weapons grade Duck Tape.

So, there we were, the Little Lady and I, minding our own business and eating dinner quietly at the Highway 55 restaurant tonight (May 16th) and in comes Conehead (known to most of you as James Griffin, the Conehead.) In what can only be explained by sane folks as 'him trying to show off' for his new, underage looking and potential next victim of a girlfriend - he came right over to our table as soon as he cleared the entrance. Upon his arrival at our table, James proclaims that "I just wanted to introduce myself," and reached out for a handshake, as if we gave a damn or felt inclined to make contact. Let's just say it was an ill advised move on his part, because I'm not an overly nice person when it comes to people like him walking up on me.

However, my fiancee and I played nice, since it's a food joint that we would prefer not getting banned from for beating the Hell out of other random customers known to want me dead. Any dark alley you want to meet in Bubba, just let me know when. Then, apparently proud of his ill conceived gesture of acting like Big Man on Campus in front of sweet cheeks, one that I'm sure has since been misrepresented to his fellow Face Book shills, he walked off to pay for his take-out.

First of all James, we have no interest in knowing you and I for sure couldn't care less who you are.

Secondly, every time you cross my path and cause issues, I'm going to do this, so enjoy.

Thirdly, it is rude to inject yourself (as a known to be - unwanted person) into what had been an otherwise enjoyable meal. What you should have done was just wave, grab your take-out and fork off.

But hey, you're a twat, so I guess I shouldn't have expected any better from you.

I had already spotted you before you made it through the door, after all, who could miss that stupid looking Leprechaun beard, which is no doubt due to your inability to grow a mustache. Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid, so...when you're stupid a good move it to try to avoid LOOKING stupid, please shave that damn thing off immediately. We all thank you in advance.

As far as the future potential victim that you waddled in with, does that poor girl know

about your past? Oh, you know, like the multiple arrests for accused spousal abuse, or

maybe that Black Chic you were playing Doctor with a while back, yeah that's her, the one

your Mother was reportedly so upset about? I can only assume, based on feedback from

others, that if along with all your other various relationship goofs, you manage to go queer

for a week or two, you will have hit upon all known corners of Ick and Debauchery.

Someone really should clue that girl in as soon as possible. I bet (easy money) that she can do a good bit better than her current arrangement and if she has half a brain, once informed, she will most likely cheese it - out stage right. So, do us all a favor, the next time you see me eating dinner, let's just say you came over, but then don't. After all, we also figured you might have been hoping for me to not be Joe Cool about it, thereby causing a scene. Note to Self...Your first mistake months ago was thinking that everyone else around here is a stupid as you seem to be, very few of us are. So in closing and as a general statement to everyone on planet Earth...if someone has it in for me (as some have stated), I think I can save your life, if you stay the Hell away from me!

I recently heard some additional interesting info about ole James Griffin from generally reliable sources, one reportedly being that his new 5 pounds of crap shoved onto a 2 pound size lot building didn't get approved for occupancy, due to the fact that it has no horizontal crossmembers and therefore not up to code! *(for our readers hailing from Kentucky, that means critical 'sidewall and roof' supports.)

So James, there is a good reason that building codes require that these crossmembers be installed, it keeps buildings like the one you had built from folding up like a cheap wallet, hopefully with no one still inside. You also need to know that without any insulation - on damp mornings, the condensation that will form on the walls and roof will cause it to rain, yes, literally rain inside for several minutes getting everything wet, from paperwork to tools to customers equipment. 

The reported cost cutting of these 2 critical factors can be explained (as I see it) by the dumbass factor, further complicated by the mindset that anyone on the Stanfield Town Council seems to think they can do pretty much whatever the Hell they want and get away with it. No builder worth their salt would skip installing crossmembers in a 'meant to be' commercial business building, so you apparently requested the deletion of same to save money, but now you have only screwed yourself. (Damn, Griffin did something else to screw himself, I'm shocked!) Oh well, let me know how that all works out for you Bubba. Once you default on your loan, I'd be interested in the building, since I can't imagine that you can run a business any better than you have the rest of your life. I have some Corvettes I'd like to park there, once needed repairs have been made to bring it up to code. 

Stay tuned for my upcoming article (based on Monroe area interviews) as to why it appears that you not only lost your Policeman job in that city, but also why (so far as we can tell at this point) you are also unable to ever be a cop again. With your background, you have zero business being the Police Commissioner of Stanfield, N.C. none at all! What exactly caused your demise on the Police Department there is something we will find out 'direct from the source' (which is perfectly legit to do, via Yes/No answers, with a witness in tow) and then you too can read all about it here.

Speaking of the Stanfield Police Department, it is our understanding that the Town ran an ad in the latest Weekly Post announcing that Stanfield is looking for yet another policeman to hire. This will be yet more wasted money in my opinion, since the actual Town of Stanfield is only about the size of a couple square miles, with the rest being County Policed. We have therefore decided to share our opinion via this 'corrected version of that advertisement' shown below, so as to more closely reflect what the ad should have said, if put forth honestly, which you people seem to be incapable of:

The Town of Stanfield is looking to hire on an additional Policeman.

(satire)

All applicants should exhibit Moral Flexibility along with the ability to lie about perfectly working equipment, when taking Police Reports concerning wrongdoing by current or past Town Council Members and/or Friends of Friends Network Members. Applicants should be responsive to questionable and/or corrupt, self serving requests (including 'grudge based' selective enforcement of rules & regulations) if requested by same, but particularly our useless and two faced Mayor, or his boy, the Police Commissioner.

Suggestions of framing intended victims, opponents or just people we don't like, is also a talent we are looking for, as to include seeking out and making suggestions 'we want to hear them say' in relation to manufactured and/or paid informants. Ticketing of Council Members and/or Friends of Friends Network Members is strictly prohibited, it could get your Beavered, as in our recently 'pretty much targeted' and now former Police Chief, Mr. Beaver.

Applicants should have at least one whole arm heavily tattooed, if this is not your current physical description, funding will be provided for such work to be performed on you. Convictions for Driving While Under the Influence (DUI's) and/or former Felony arrests will be overlooked, since we reportedly have both types of personnel on our Department already. We would also prefer that you not have a fender bender while in Monroe and then claim you're a Stanfield cop (when you're not yet), in an effort to get out of being ticketed! Why, because the bastards at StanfieldPress will find out and let everyone know, but we will lie about it all (as usual) and say we didn't have the personnel available to train them instead of admitting we had to run them off.

Pay will start at $30,000, but you could be subject to 'hours worked, being rounded down' as a cost cutting method, of which we were already reportedly caught doing, according to our once again, former Chief Beaver.

Your accommodations will be within our Luxuriant Police Department, which represents 'oh, we figure by now a $100,000.00 total waste of Taxpayer Money!' - but we have an army of mindless Lemmings who continue to vote for us, so no worries with all that. You will be provided with the latest of extra snarky patrol cars, even though the Town could have spent half as much on more practical vehicles and more of them. While your job description will be to patrol Stanfield, it is O.K. to sneak naps at the Town's Park, go home and screw around while on the clock or spend hours of each shift hanging out in Locust, which is the closest thing the general area has to Real Cops.

Chewing tobacco of various types is allowed, even when making traffic stops, as far as cigarettes, smoke'em if ya got'em, but make sure your cap is turned around backwards and you act tough and give hard looks to bystanders. Local restaurant meals are 50% off for Cops, so each of you can work on forming a 3rd ass cheek by stuffing your pig like faces, damn near for free, not that fellow patrons will be any safer having you there.

Also, don't forget to occasionally enjoy the 100% free to Cops meals from the Locust Bojangles, just avoid leaving the resulting trash next to the guard rail on any of the lots owned by Rick Higgins along Hwy 200, since we already had one of our guys do that, reportedly after getting a Hummer from some local skank, while on Night Shift. Basically, do whatever you want, we have ya covered. We own the joint Baby!

However, there is a Height Limit, as no person serving on the Stanfield Police Department is allowed to be taller than our sawed off, Putz of a Mayor. He is to be referred to by all of you as Mr. GlitterBug along with a graceful bow and a salute upon each sighting. Only Mushroom Cap and no larger of a size penis is also the limit and for the same reasons given for the above Height Restrictions. Rules of this sort are put into place so that our sorta, kinda, not really - beloved Mayor GlitterBug - can continue to enjoy his delusion of grandeur, of which he is famous for.

Of additional note, you are not required to be an actual resident of Stanfield, since none of our other employees are either. Only being able to sign your name using an X is also sorta O.K. and for the same reason. All employment seekers replying to this job opening should submit a non-refundable $1,475.00 with their application, so it can also be wasted by us on additional stupid items of interest that only benefit and glorify ourselves.

Interested parties should contact the Mayor, if he actually bothers to acknowledge your existence, the Towns unqualified by formal education or training Administrator or our Police Commissioner, unless

he himself has recently been arrested.

Please send all resumes or inquiries to:

Idiots Out Walking Around,

When not Busy Damaging Every Single Purple Heart City Sign, During Installation.

In Care of:

P.O. Box 666 Stanfield, N.C. 28163.

.....................................

Read On Below for Part II

In other news:

Has anyone else noticed that Jason 'Slugfoot/Craphead' Smith has let the grass at his Tyvek wrapped summer home get ass high, not to mention that the overall property looks like hammered crap?

It looks like the movie set of 'Straight outta Compton' over there, even the regularly featured white trash from the PeopleofWalmart website would be saying, Dayum! Do you know what would happen to the rest of us if we allowed such yard related issues to persist on our own properties? They (the Town's Color of Law Nanny State Enforcers) would be so far up your arse (complete with threats of daily fines) that you would see their faces in the mirror in the morning instead of your own, until such ugliness was mowed flat. Ahh, but Jason was reportedly Mayor Barbee's Bitch for like 8 years, a willing servant to His Majesty, always voting as instructed and in return given virtual amnesty in all things. We can only figure that this mess of a property is being overlooked, since Jason is still in His Majesty's service to some degree, why else would this be allowed? Things that make you go...Hmmm. Rumor has it that Jason is being forced to file for Personal & Business Bankruptcy, I will assume that is due to him running out of folks to cheat, scam and rob. Sure, that's my opinion, but it's what other folks are saying too. You just can't be a little shit all your life and keep it up forever.

In other news # 2:

While claiming that the paving of the parking lot for the Town's excuse for a Park will cost approx. $33,000 (more wasted money), it has been reported by a reliable source that the actual budget set aside is almost 3 times that much, but you're not meant to know that. This Penis Envy over much better parks controlled by other nearby Towns, leading to the wasting of mountains of cash, must stop. I've seen crackheads with stolen VISA cards walking around in downtown Charlotte with a better sense of Financial Thrift than these Town Council Clowns.

The propaganda like reasons put forth by two of the most stooped over cripples in town (Larry & Jerry) is that it's being done for all the old folks who visit the park and have trouble walking across the current gravel surface. So, are these same old folks going to suddenly become athletic and fleet of foot once they leave the parking lots new asphalt surface and end up damn near stumbling downhill on the still gravel covered ski slope that leads to the rest of the Park's surface area? These so-called Town Leaders are so full of crap, excuses, excuses, excuses just so they can rip through even more of Other People's Money!

The good news is that they're both as old as the very dirt they want to cover over by way of this paving project and so are most of their Blind Mice Supporters. Father Time is a Hard Fellow and will eventually release us from their mismanagement and supporting voter block, unless the reportedly stolen, missing, hidden, approx $700,000.00 of 8 years worth of excess Fire Tax was used for some type of Life Extension Technology.

According to the news paper from some weeks ago:

This whole load of crap idea of starting to require the paving of various lots, driveways and business entrances around town (even though expensive and while in a down economy) was reportedly first put forward by the Town Council's new apparent fall guy, Rick 'The GladHand' Williams. Isn't he Handy, his new puppeteers must think so?

We're doing this to make the Town look nice, is along the lines of William's lame reasoning for the initial idea of forcing this on all businesses with graveled areas. My question is, since when does a guy who drives 2 cars with salvage titles (Junk Cars re-titled by the DMV based on what is usually extreme damage) and a guy who also reportedly rents his home from a relative who is the real owner, suddenly become so worried about keeping up appearances? Maybe he was talked into it as his first Grand Gesture Suggestion as a new Council Member, who knows, but the end results for many of us is that he's just another snake oil salesman of a Council Member and is fitting right in. Then again, maybe a guy with Bad Hair, Bad Teeth and Bad Memories of vacation time related injuries, could be expected to round off things nicely with....Bad Ideas.

Now, just to get everyone on the same page, pricing wise:

The price checking calls I've made to some paving companies indicate that (for example) the average length and width residential driveway costs an easy $8,000 to $10,000 to pave and prices keep going up from there as the surface area increases! Obviously, the initial idea of forcing compliance for all area businesses to pave their parking lots and road frontage access points would be a considerable burden for said local businesses with gravel drives or parking spots. Come close Councilmen, a little closer and hear what we are saying.....This is Stanfield, a small town with very few active, profitable and sustainable businesses already, we are not the selected site for the Summer Olympics, so get over yourselves.

Therefore, apparently some considerable blow-back from the 'assumed to be' targeted parties ensued, as the starting level requirement has been raised from Every Business to now only applying to those with 10 or more parking spaces. Once Williams was outed as the harbinger of this initial crushing expense of an idea (Fall Guy, in my opinion), it was then quietly morphed into also paving the parking lot of our Money Pit of a Town Park. It's a classic Problem, Reaction, Solution situation = start out Asking/Demanding for more than is reasonable, then settle for what was really behind it all the whole time - another pet project for the Park.

So, that sucking sound is more of your tax Dollars being wasted, but hey, you guys vote for these dingbats again and again, so back to work, they need the money - Your Money!

P.S. Folks, all of the above money wasting is going on at the very moment that the last guy at the end of the Willow Creek subdivision is having to abandon his home, due to raw sewage flowing into the low lying areas just beyond his house, but the primary members of the Town Council would rather spend, excuse me, Blow Money on circus and cake, so their self indulged asses can leave behind a legacy.

In other news # 3:

Caving into the County once again, the Priest Class of Stanfield (Idiots Out Walking Around) are handing over our city sewer pump station on Hwy 200. While originally paid for (about 1 Million Dollars), via the grant we originally received to install city sewer, it has certainly long since been supported and maintained by taxpayer funds and fees related to our overall system.

Stanfield's Town Council already gave away our tax payer funded incoming drinking water pumps and flow meters back in 2006, over $100.000.00 worth. These guys literally 'gave it all away' even though we were still reportedly paying off the debt those items had incurred and were then reportedly asked to maintain it for the County at our ongoing expense!

Now the County will own both systems at the point of incoming/outgoing, but your happy asses paid for it, with nothing to show for it now. In this current sewer pump station related travesty, only ONE of the current Town Council Members actually pays for Stanfield sewer service = (Greg Lucas.)

Shouldn't people on the Council who don't even pay sewer bills themselves (because they live on the very edge of town and/or past where these lines end) recuse themselves from voting on such items or influencing the vote of others and make it a Public Taxpayer Themed Vote only...somehow, someway I think it should have been handled that way?

For example - The Mayor lives on the top of his little hill (no sewer service), James Griffin lives even further out than him (no sewer service), Rick Williams lives in Willow Creek (no sewer service) and Larry Sides damn near lives in Locust (no sewer service at his outlying location)...so it's not their tax/fee based dollars being wasted. What a load of crapola. There are more than a few of us that think within the details and super secret meetings that there is a very good chance that something illegal has taken place, still others are motivated enough to keep digging. The problem with the Stanfield Leadership, less so, Rick Williams (as a almost frozen out at this point, junior member) is that these sons of bitches run this Town as if it's their private plaything and that is the root of all evil around here.

God Save Stanfield!

BLIPS, page # 3

Sometime this Week would be nice, Dagnabbitt

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